FAILED THE TEST, BUT LEARNED SOMETHING
(Warning: This is a loooong entry, PROMISE!!! Kanin muna kayong pacencia baka ndi nyo kayanin. Hehe, ang corny ko!)
-The Test-
I usually jog every Sat (with Leo, Andres & JP na never pang sumipot kahit minsan… =P). I don’t know kung bakit ako tinatamad last Saturday pero tumuloy parin ako. Meeting time is 5:30-6:00am at Church then finished na dapat by 8am kasi mag aasist kami ni Leo sa Medical Mission ng Women’s Guild. I was almost 10mins late, wala na si Leo & Andres, so text ako to ask kung asan ana sila para if ever derecho na kong Acad Oval kaso dedma sila pareho. I kept on texting, wala parin. I decided na tumambay muna sa UPCYM & watch nalang ng TV while waiting. Feeling ko iniwan na nila ako dahil late ako at naisnis na sila kaya no reply sila. After several texts, finally nag crok-crok na ang phone ko, aba akalain mong kakagising lang ni Leo?! I was like, Huwaaaat, kakagisisng lang?! Anung petsa na?! Nagreready na sila Mang Joe for the Med Mission, grabe! Then I realized siguro not meant na mag jog today, so watch nalang ako while (still) waiting for Leo kasi walang magandang show… for that, inatake ako ng pagka-OC ko so I decided to clean the UPCYM tambayan (Btw, kaninong alaga pala yung mga munggo sa cabinet nyo?! Sowi kasi tinapon ko na. =P) . Then my cuz Manang Gay arrived, then Leo & Micah, then Aciell (tama ba spelling? :D), nung una nanunuod lang sila then later on tumulong na tutal wala pa naman yung mga Doctors sa Med Mission.
Late din nagstart ang Med Mission kasi nga late ang Doctors, though we finished earlier than expected & just in time for lunch. (YeHeY!!! Salamat naman at makakakain na ko, kasi hindi pa ko nakakapag breakfast, si Leo kasi, hindi tuloy kami nakapag taho, hmpf!) Anyway, after lunch I had to go to the Shop kasi iiwan ko ang CD & list of songs na ipapaburn ko for my Bday thingy the next day. Then went home, then nag ligpit-ligpit parin sa house for the Bday thingy parin. Then went to the grocery (with my Mama, Papang & M'g Gay) and yes! still for the Bday thingy. (Halata bang excited ako?! Hehe!) We prepared na the menu kaso Mama changed her mind the last minute, so medjo natagalan pa lalo mag grocery pero enjoy naman kasi noon nalang ulit ako nakasama sa pag-gro-grocery, bonding na din. Hehe!
I was so excited cause I know & I have planned that my Bday celebration will be different although I was praying na maayos ang UPCYM issue kasi nga hindi magiging effective yung prayer prayer thingy na plan ko kung may dipagkakaunawaan sila, shemps hindi clean (tama ba term? Oh whatever, getz nyo naman e) ang heart&mind, and ayoko naman na meron hindi masaya. I thought yun lang yung problem ko, but wait there’s more! I heard Mama & Manang Mel talking sa kitchen while unloading the grocery bags, the only clear phrase I heard was “ni Daddy?” (ilocano which in tagalong is “si Daddy?” Btw, Daddy is Mama’s father), I didn’t pay attention kasi kala ko wala lang, but no! Mamang (my Lola) called nung nasa grocery kami & she was crying daw kasi Daddy was rushed to the hospital kasi “mahina na”, and I was like, Huwaaaat?! Ayoko naman magcelebrate kung hirap ang isang loved one ko! Noooo!!! (Not unless makita kong ok naman siya, eh hello?! Sana pwedeng i-jeep ang T. Sora - Daly City), but then naalala ko I can pray naman for Him although shempre hindi mawawala yung pagaalala. So I asked Mama to text them to ask kung anung latest development then before dinner Mamang called na and Daddy was OK na daw (OK is an understatement!) kaso nasa hospital parin. We were in the middle of dinner when P! (my brother) arrived from school, he was about to seat nung bigla siyang nagsabi kay Mama na ito-tour nila yung visitors ng rotaract tomorrow, tapos whole day daw. Like, Huh?! Tomorrow?! Eh tomorrow ako magcecelebrate e! Pano na yung plan ko na ipagppray sila kung wala siya dun?! Aaaaaah!
I wanted to cry, I can’t even finish my plate anymore, I can’t describe the feeling, it was so so so heavy. I took a deep breath and pushed myself to finish my plate then I went out for a walk to get some fresh air and think. I was asking myself if it’s the enemy or it’s God, but if it’s God why is He allowing these things to happen?! My mind was screaming, Ok lang sana kaso kelangan ba talagang sa Bday ko ba talaga dapat mangyari lahat?! Lord, ano ba?! I felt bad, inis ako, galit ako, pikon ako, at gusto kong umiyak. But I knew na hindi dapat kasi kasalanan ko din. I never asked God if my the plans I made for my birthday was also His plan for me, alam ko mali pero yun talaga yung gusto ko. I said to myself paninindigan ko na, nakapag invite na ko, nakapag grocery na kami & Mama started cooking the jellies already, ano pang magagawa ko?! Bahala na bukas!
I can’t sleep, I didn’t do my quiet time, I didn’t want to commune with Him, I didn’t open my bible, I can’t remember if I closed my eyes when I prayed “Lord, si Daddy. Take care of Daddy.”, but for sure I didn’t want any vision or anything from Him that night. Ganun kasama ang loob ko. I was forcing myself to sleep but it didn’t work, I realized kelangan ko palang basahin yung lesson for Sunday School kasi magteteach kami ni Tiara and assignment kong gumawa ng activity/game for the CYF to introduce the lesson and to make their Q&A attendance. But I can’t concentrate, the only thing na naiisip ko was: Daddy, P, UPCYM & pano bukas?! I ended up just staring at the paper pero sa kakatitig nakatulog ako.
After almost 5 hrs of sleep nagising ako, may light na, masyado pang maaga to get up puwede pang mag extend ng 2hrs. I tried to go back to sleep but I can’t na. Nakipagdebate pa muna ako kung kakausapin ko na ba siya o hindi, then finally I decided to talk. Heavy talaga yung feeling so start palang I cried na… nagsorry sorry for being so stubborn & for crawling off the altar (again for the nth time), thanked Him for waking me up, for being so patient with me and for loving me parin, asked for guidance & blessing not just for me but for my family, relatives & friends, and finally prayed that may His will be done (kahit na nahihirapan akong tanggapin mas alam naman nya kung anung makakabuti sakin).
I had hot choco for breakfast (as usual it’s a Sunday so no solid food until I reach church) then prepared for church. While on the way I started reading the lesson, finally nagetz ko na siya, so may game na ko. Everything was much lighter compared yesterday until Ate Vi talked to me about something I did na hindi ko dapat ginawa, I felt the heavy thing with me again pero tuloy ang araw, finally vesper na, hindi ako naglead sa band (shemps, hindi naman pwede yun) and mas kelangan kong mag worship, floating parin ang mind ko during the service then kneeling time na, I finally surrendered na, ilang minutes nalang magcecelebrate na ko, wala na kong magagawa, I just prayed na sana masaya naman although feeling ko hindi (what's that again? Do not depend... haha!) basta bahala na siya.
Masaya naman ang mga pipolertz after service. After the ExeCom meeting na anung petsa na natapos (hehe!), we had to drop by yakal to pick up Suzanne, Leslie & JP, then YeY! nakaalis na din kami sa UP… Let’s get the party started na, but wait there's more! We were almost home when I saw my Kuya walking and I was like, Si P!!! andito na si P!!! Waaah, Thank You Lord. Haha, kala ko hindi siya makakasama sa prayer kasi akala ko aabutin ng madaling araw (usually kasi ganun talaga) yung pag tour nila sa mga Singaporians. The party was good, happy happy naman lahat, hindi lang ako sure kung nabusog lahat. Basta ang saya although may onting iyakan part. Everything was more than what I prayed for… Haha! In my face noh?!
Oh well, ito na matatapos na ko… lesson part na… While doing may quiet time kanina, ito ang sabi ni Lord…
-The Lesson-
Pain’s Purpose
Hebrews 12: 7-11
Affliction, when we accept it with patience and humility, can lead us to a deeper, fuller life. “Before I was afflicted I went astray,” David wrote, “but now I keep Your Word” (Psalm 119:67). And again, “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn your statutes.” (v.71).
Pain, far from being as obstacle to our spiritual growth, can actually be the pathway to it. If we allow pain to train us, it can lead us closer to God and into His Word. It is often the means by which our Father graciously shapes us to be like His Son, gradually giving us the courage, compassion, contentment, and tranquility we long and pray for. Without pain, God would not accomplish all that He desires to do in and through us.
Are you one whom God is instructing through suffering and pain? By His grace you can endure His instruction patiently (2 Corinthians 12:9). He can make the trial a blessing and use it to draw you into His heart and into His Word. He can also teach you the lesson He intends for you to learn, and give you His peace in the midst of your difficulties.
The Bible tells us, “Count it all joy when you fall into various trials” (James 1:2). God is making more out of you than you ever thought possible.
Through trials we learn to overcome,
Through Christ our victories are won;
Come lay your burdens at His feet
And find this inner peace so sweet.
-Halsey-
~Christ can transform painful trials into glorious triumphs.~
Dear Lord,
I Praise You and Thank so much for being so patient with me though I often crawl off the altar, for being so faithful to Your promises and for always being there for me, thank You for loving me though I’m so unlovable and I’m unworthy of that love. Thank You for everything Father God. Thank you so much. Without You I’m nothing. Thank You for choosing, for allowing me to be Your daughter, Your servant, Your soldier. You’re all I want Lord, You’re all I ever needed. Thank You Lord God for being my all. Thank You for saving me! Thank You! I LOVE YOU! Mwahugz to You DAD!!!
-The Test-
I usually jog every Sat (with Leo, Andres & JP na never pang sumipot kahit minsan… =P). I don’t know kung bakit ako tinatamad last Saturday pero tumuloy parin ako. Meeting time is 5:30-6:00am at Church then finished na dapat by 8am kasi mag aasist kami ni Leo sa Medical Mission ng Women’s Guild. I was almost 10mins late, wala na si Leo & Andres, so text ako to ask kung asan ana sila para if ever derecho na kong Acad Oval kaso dedma sila pareho. I kept on texting, wala parin. I decided na tumambay muna sa UPCYM & watch nalang ng TV while waiting. Feeling ko iniwan na nila ako dahil late ako at naisnis na sila kaya no reply sila. After several texts, finally nag crok-crok na ang phone ko, aba akalain mong kakagising lang ni Leo?! I was like, Huwaaaat, kakagisisng lang?! Anung petsa na?! Nagreready na sila Mang Joe for the Med Mission, grabe! Then I realized siguro not meant na mag jog today, so watch nalang ako while (still) waiting for Leo kasi walang magandang show… for that, inatake ako ng pagka-OC ko so I decided to clean the UPCYM tambayan (Btw, kaninong alaga pala yung mga munggo sa cabinet nyo?! Sowi kasi tinapon ko na. =P) . Then my cuz Manang Gay arrived, then Leo & Micah, then Aciell (tama ba spelling? :D), nung una nanunuod lang sila then later on tumulong na tutal wala pa naman yung mga Doctors sa Med Mission.
Late din nagstart ang Med Mission kasi nga late ang Doctors, though we finished earlier than expected & just in time for lunch. (YeHeY!!! Salamat naman at makakakain na ko, kasi hindi pa ko nakakapag breakfast, si Leo kasi, hindi tuloy kami nakapag taho, hmpf!) Anyway, after lunch I had to go to the Shop kasi iiwan ko ang CD & list of songs na ipapaburn ko for my Bday thingy the next day. Then went home, then nag ligpit-ligpit parin sa house for the Bday thingy parin. Then went to the grocery (with my Mama, Papang & M'g Gay) and yes! still for the Bday thingy. (Halata bang excited ako?! Hehe!) We prepared na the menu kaso Mama changed her mind the last minute, so medjo natagalan pa lalo mag grocery pero enjoy naman kasi noon nalang ulit ako nakasama sa pag-gro-grocery, bonding na din. Hehe!
I was so excited cause I know & I have planned that my Bday celebration will be different although I was praying na maayos ang UPCYM issue kasi nga hindi magiging effective yung prayer prayer thingy na plan ko kung may dipagkakaunawaan sila, shemps hindi clean (tama ba term? Oh whatever, getz nyo naman e) ang heart&mind, and ayoko naman na meron hindi masaya. I thought yun lang yung problem ko, but wait there’s more! I heard Mama & Manang Mel talking sa kitchen while unloading the grocery bags, the only clear phrase I heard was “ni Daddy?” (ilocano which in tagalong is “si Daddy?” Btw, Daddy is Mama’s father), I didn’t pay attention kasi kala ko wala lang, but no! Mamang (my Lola) called nung nasa grocery kami & she was crying daw kasi Daddy was rushed to the hospital kasi “mahina na”, and I was like, Huwaaaat?! Ayoko naman magcelebrate kung hirap ang isang loved one ko! Noooo!!! (Not unless makita kong ok naman siya, eh hello?! Sana pwedeng i-jeep ang T. Sora - Daly City), but then naalala ko I can pray naman for Him although shempre hindi mawawala yung pagaalala. So I asked Mama to text them to ask kung anung latest development then before dinner Mamang called na and Daddy was OK na daw (OK is an understatement!) kaso nasa hospital parin. We were in the middle of dinner when P! (my brother) arrived from school, he was about to seat nung bigla siyang nagsabi kay Mama na ito-tour nila yung visitors ng rotaract tomorrow, tapos whole day daw. Like, Huh?! Tomorrow?! Eh tomorrow ako magcecelebrate e! Pano na yung plan ko na ipagppray sila kung wala siya dun?! Aaaaaah!
I wanted to cry, I can’t even finish my plate anymore, I can’t describe the feeling, it was so so so heavy. I took a deep breath and pushed myself to finish my plate then I went out for a walk to get some fresh air and think. I was asking myself if it’s the enemy or it’s God, but if it’s God why is He allowing these things to happen?! My mind was screaming, Ok lang sana kaso kelangan ba talagang sa Bday ko ba talaga dapat mangyari lahat?! Lord, ano ba?! I felt bad, inis ako, galit ako, pikon ako, at gusto kong umiyak. But I knew na hindi dapat kasi kasalanan ko din. I never asked God if my the plans I made for my birthday was also His plan for me, alam ko mali pero yun talaga yung gusto ko. I said to myself paninindigan ko na, nakapag invite na ko, nakapag grocery na kami & Mama started cooking the jellies already, ano pang magagawa ko?! Bahala na bukas!
I can’t sleep, I didn’t do my quiet time, I didn’t want to commune with Him, I didn’t open my bible, I can’t remember if I closed my eyes when I prayed “Lord, si Daddy. Take care of Daddy.”, but for sure I didn’t want any vision or anything from Him that night. Ganun kasama ang loob ko. I was forcing myself to sleep but it didn’t work, I realized kelangan ko palang basahin yung lesson for Sunday School kasi magteteach kami ni Tiara and assignment kong gumawa ng activity/game for the CYF to introduce the lesson and to make their Q&A attendance. But I can’t concentrate, the only thing na naiisip ko was: Daddy, P, UPCYM & pano bukas?! I ended up just staring at the paper pero sa kakatitig nakatulog ako.
After almost 5 hrs of sleep nagising ako, may light na, masyado pang maaga to get up puwede pang mag extend ng 2hrs. I tried to go back to sleep but I can’t na. Nakipagdebate pa muna ako kung kakausapin ko na ba siya o hindi, then finally I decided to talk. Heavy talaga yung feeling so start palang I cried na… nagsorry sorry for being so stubborn & for crawling off the altar (again for the nth time), thanked Him for waking me up, for being so patient with me and for loving me parin, asked for guidance & blessing not just for me but for my family, relatives & friends, and finally prayed that may His will be done (kahit na nahihirapan akong tanggapin mas alam naman nya kung anung makakabuti sakin).
I had hot choco for breakfast (as usual it’s a Sunday so no solid food until I reach church) then prepared for church. While on the way I started reading the lesson, finally nagetz ko na siya, so may game na ko. Everything was much lighter compared yesterday until Ate Vi talked to me about something I did na hindi ko dapat ginawa, I felt the heavy thing with me again pero tuloy ang araw, finally vesper na, hindi ako naglead sa band (shemps, hindi naman pwede yun) and mas kelangan kong mag worship, floating parin ang mind ko during the service then kneeling time na, I finally surrendered na, ilang minutes nalang magcecelebrate na ko, wala na kong magagawa, I just prayed na sana masaya naman although feeling ko hindi (what's that again? Do not depend... haha!) basta bahala na siya.
Masaya naman ang mga pipolertz after service. After the ExeCom meeting na anung petsa na natapos (hehe!), we had to drop by yakal to pick up Suzanne, Leslie & JP, then YeY! nakaalis na din kami sa UP… Let’s get the party started na, but wait there's more! We were almost home when I saw my Kuya walking and I was like, Si P!!! andito na si P!!! Waaah, Thank You Lord. Haha, kala ko hindi siya makakasama sa prayer kasi akala ko aabutin ng madaling araw (usually kasi ganun talaga) yung pag tour nila sa mga Singaporians. The party was good, happy happy naman lahat, hindi lang ako sure kung nabusog lahat. Basta ang saya although may onting iyakan part. Everything was more than what I prayed for… Haha! In my face noh?!
Oh well, ito na matatapos na ko… lesson part na… While doing may quiet time kanina, ito ang sabi ni Lord…
-The Lesson-
Pain’s Purpose
Hebrews 12: 7-11
Affliction, when we accept it with patience and humility, can lead us to a deeper, fuller life. “Before I was afflicted I went astray,” David wrote, “but now I keep Your Word” (Psalm 119:67). And again, “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn your statutes.” (v.71).
Pain, far from being as obstacle to our spiritual growth, can actually be the pathway to it. If we allow pain to train us, it can lead us closer to God and into His Word. It is often the means by which our Father graciously shapes us to be like His Son, gradually giving us the courage, compassion, contentment, and tranquility we long and pray for. Without pain, God would not accomplish all that He desires to do in and through us.
Are you one whom God is instructing through suffering and pain? By His grace you can endure His instruction patiently (2 Corinthians 12:9). He can make the trial a blessing and use it to draw you into His heart and into His Word. He can also teach you the lesson He intends for you to learn, and give you His peace in the midst of your difficulties.
The Bible tells us, “Count it all joy when you fall into various trials” (James 1:2). God is making more out of you than you ever thought possible.
Through trials we learn to overcome,
Through Christ our victories are won;
Come lay your burdens at His feet
And find this inner peace so sweet.
-Halsey-
~Christ can transform painful trials into glorious triumphs.~
Dear Lord,
I Praise You and Thank so much for being so patient with me though I often crawl off the altar, for being so faithful to Your promises and for always being there for me, thank You for loving me though I’m so unlovable and I’m unworthy of that love. Thank You for everything Father God. Thank you so much. Without You I’m nothing. Thank You for choosing, for allowing me to be Your daughter, Your servant, Your soldier. You’re all I want Lord, You’re all I ever needed. Thank You Lord God for being my all. Thank You for saving me! Thank You! I LOVE YOU! Mwahugz to You DAD!!!
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